The time has come once again for mortals to come flooding into the Night Market. A word of warning for those of you who are new. Mortals may be curious by nature, a worthy and noble quality, but they can also be boorish and single-minded. Focused entirely on material gain with no concern for the squashed tails and stamped paws they leave in their wake.

Worse yet, there are those who think themselves clever. Don't mind me, they say, I will just help my grubby little self to the wonderful trinkets these little birdies have gathered. Caw! Disgusting and greedy.

I thought it prudent that a wizened crow such as myself should bestow a few enlightening tips as to the myriad of ways these sticky-fingered mortals pilfer our goods.

First, and perhaps the easiest to spot, are those with long sleeves into which they hide our precious bones and shiny buttons. Or, those who with one hand reach across the table, while another slips a trinket into their pocket. They call this misdirection.

Those with a modicum of magical skill may attempt to conjure tawdry illusions. Perhaps they will turn iron coins into gold or replace stolen stock with pale imitations. They don't know that our keen eyes and delicate whiskers can spot such things. You can call them out for it right away, watch them blush and scurry off. Or, you can play along. Signal a guard to come and wait for the transaction to close, make the crime official, then watch them get carted off. Pick your entertainment, as it were.

Then there are those who think themselves fleet-footed. They grab whatever beguiling object they fancy and make a mad dash towards a portal or district entrance. They can be the hardest for us to deal with what with their long legs and towering stature, but we have cleverer methods, don't we?

I like to leave a curious object near the edge of my stall. Some simple thing to our eyes, a bejeweled skull with Daedric runes for instance, that these little thieves can't help but salivate over. I'll assign it an exorbitant price, make it clear to those familiar with our trade that it's a honeypot. Eventually, some thief will make a move, grab the skull or whatnot, and make a run for it. Then the spell activates.

I enjoy a good petrification. Lets me put them on display. Others make them farm animals. Something dumb to match their interior. Our dear friend Fennel is partial to making thieves float up into the air. If the spell goes off inside our market, they just get stuck on the ceiling. It goes off out in the plaza? Well, there's a vast sky out there full of possibilities.

That's enough reminiscing. If there's anything to take away from this it's that thieves are about and we all need to do our part to curb their nasty habits.

Yours in warning,
Silver-Beak, Governess of Shiny Baubles and Enchanting Bits and as transcribed by her mortal aide, Matthias Gaerhart