Accusation of Falsity
<A series of letters, all folded into one another, bundling the entire exchange into one neat pile>
Dear Sir/Madam/Esteemed One/Purveyor of False Goods/Liar,
You sold me an Opalescent Tincture at the auction house by the Bathhouse not terribly long ago. Perhaps you remember it? That was the night that your purse was exactly three great welkynd stones, one shifting-violet poultice, and four-thousand gold coins heavier. This was the agreed upon price for the exchange of my wealth for your Opalescent Tincture. If your memory fails, I advise you to look through your records. You will find my name and purchase listed therein.
I write to you now in a fury the likes of which must be satisfied. The Opalescent Tincture is a fake. A facsimile of what you promised me. No, not even. It is entirely fabricated. I pledged my coin in good faith—indeed I paid what I promised too—but your duplicitous nature did not accord me the same gratitude. Either return all I gave to you or I will be forced to alert the Grasp of the Stricture to your doings.
This will not stand!
Fessorate
* * *
Ah Fessorate,
How wonderful it is to hear from you. It's been too long since you graced our doors either with your presence or with your grievances. We almost thought you left Fargrave altogether.
Terribly sorry to hear that the Opalescent Tincture is not to your satisfaction. If you would please describe, in detail, the exact nature of your complaint we will see what we can do to best answer it.
I would love to take a moment to remind you of the agreement you made when purchasing the Opalescent Tincture. Sales are final and any threats against the Glittering Goad or any of their members as a result of mercantile disagreements are strictly prohibited. I advise you to be more careful of your tone in your next letter or we may be forced to bar you from attending any future auctions we hold. This would pain me since you bring such life to those occasions.
Please do not force my hand.
Tachien
* * *
Tachien,
You doubt my claims? I can bring the Opalescent Tincture back and show you how your description of it was completely misleading and false.
To start, the name says that it is an Opalescent Tincture, but once I uncorked the vial, it was a dull gray powder. Not opalescent. Not a tincture. A gray powder in a very fancy vial. All your illustrious words amounted to what I can only describe as extremely old dust. It is false advertisement of the highest order!
Yours in anger and resentment
Fessorate
* * *
Anger and Resentment,
Tachien's busy. I'm responding to your latest letter for her. Deal with it.
If you remember what Myshka said during that auction before you outbid the others for the Opalescent Tincture, the Opalescent Tincture dried from the arid environment it was found in. You need to reintroduce liquid to it at a ratio of 1 pinch tincture, 3 goblets fresh morning dew. The instructions were clear. It's not our fault you forgot them. Try to remember better next time.
Baaymia
Accusation of Falsity
<A series of letters, all folded into one another, bundling the entire exchange into one neat pile>
Dear Sir/Madam/Esteemed One/Purveyor of False Goods/Liar,
You sold me an Opalescent Tincture at the auction house by the Bathhouse not terribly long ago. Perhaps you remember it? That was the night that your purse was exactly three great welkynd stones, one shifting-violet poultice, and four-thousand gold coins heavier. This was the agreed upon price for the exchange of my wealth for your Opalescent Tincture. If your memory fails, I advise you to look through your records. You will find my name and purchase listed therein.
I write to you now in a fury the likes of which must be satisfied. The Opalescent Tincture is a fake. A facsimile of what you promised me. No, not even. It is entirely fabricated. I pledged my coin in good faith—indeed I paid what I promised too—but your duplicitous nature did not accord me the same gratitude. Either return all I gave to you or I will be forced to alert the Grasp of the Stricture to your doings.
This will not stand!
Fessorate
* * *
Ah Fessorate,
How wonderful it is to hear from you. It's been too long since you graced our doors either with your presence or with your grievances. We almost thought you left Fargrave altogether.
Terribly sorry to hear that the Opalescent Tincture is not to your satisfaction. If you would please describe, in detail, the exact nature of your complaint we will see what we can do to best answer it.
I would love to take a moment to remind you of the agreement you made when purchasing the Opalescent Tincture. Sales are final and any threats against the Glittering Goad or any of their members as a result of mercantile disagreements are strictly prohibited. I advise you to be more careful of your tone in your next letter or we may be forced to bar you from attending any future auctions we hold. This would pain me since you bring such life to those occasions.
Please do not force my hand.
Tachien
* * *
Tachien,
You doubt my claims? I can bring the Opalescent Tincture back and show you how your description of it was completely misleading and false.
To start, the name says that it is an Opalescent Tincture, but once I uncorked the vial, it was a dull gray powder. Not opalescent. Not a tincture. A gray powder in a very fancy vial. All your illustrious words amounted to what I can only describe as extremely old dust. It is false advertisement of the highest order!
Yours in anger and resentment
Fessorate
* * *
Anger and Resentment,
Tachien's busy. I'm responding to your latest letter for her. Deal with it.
If you remember what Myshka said during that auction before you outbid the others for the Opalescent Tincture, the Opalescent Tincture dried from the arid environment it was found in. You need to reintroduce liquid to it at a ratio of 1 pinch tincture, 3 goblets fresh morning dew. The instructions were clear. It's not our fault you forgot them. Try to remember better next time.
Baaymia
